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The goal of anyone experiencing infertility is to have a child. When times are trying, and you are adapting your lifestyle in what might be challenging ways, that is the goal that needs to be kept in mind. Sometimes when you’ve been trying for a while, this ultimate goal can seem frustratingly unreachable so breaking it down into more manageable steps is key.
It is my belief that the most important step in achieving anything is the process of goal setting. Without a target, how can one hit it? With clear goals and vision, each choice you make throughout each day can be evaluated by asking yourself, is this choice bringing me closer to my dream?
As a doctor, I determine my goals for treatment from the initial intake forms and the first appointment. By diagnosing the prominent signs and symptoms I feel are important to work on, combined with our joint decisions about larger aspects of life and your family vision, we provide the framework for setting goals. These goals become a guide to ensure we are staying on the path that we have created together.
Once your goals are clear and you are doing everything in your power to obtain them, it is time to surrender. Not everyone is ready to hear this and it can be tough to relinquish control, but having faith in your body is of paramount importance. Patience is one of the primary attributes of a good parent and you might want to think of this time as a dress rehearsal for what’s to come.
While each person’s path to fertility will vary, I have found that after a decade of working with couples trying to conceive that the following four steps can be a recipe for success:
1. Take care of yourself (set those goals).
2. Do your best to surrender and accept your circumstances.
3. Have faith that your dreams will come true.
4. Persevere.
Breaking down your goals into obtainable and sustainable steps and sticking with them for enough time to allow the magic of the compound effect to manifest is the key to success. When setting goals, remember the wise words of Jim Collins (author of ‘Good to Great’): “If you have more than three priorities, you don’t have any.” Figure out what is most necessary for you to do to accomplish your goals, forget about everything else and keep it simple.
An Exercise:
Support System*: One of the most important things you can do to ensure your accomplish your goals and fulfill your dreams is to develop a support system. It is well accepted that we become very much like the five people we spend the most time with. Take a second to list these people here:
1.____________________________________________________
2.____________________________________________________
3.____________________________________________________
4.____________________________________________________
5.____________________________________________________
*Now ask yourself, are these people providing the support and inspiration you need to ensure you are constantly motivated to be moving toward your goals, to avoid self-sabotaging choices, to grow into the new you and write your new story? If the answer is no, then what I have to say is simple; choose different people to spend your time with. This could be key to unlocking your true fertility potential.
“Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never have enough.” ~Oprah Winfrey
